Starr Mercer

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I'm here to tell your story...the joy, the laughs, the tears, and the memories along the way.



April 6, 2015

A Good Death | Personal

It’s been almost a month since Dad passed away.  My family and I have been visited by so many emotions during our grieving process.  A few weeks after he left us, I was having trouble focusing on work and the to-do lists of life, so I called my therapist (of almost two years) for a session.

I knew talking to my therapist would help me out, she always has the best suggestions and words for any situation.  I went into the meeting telling her about what had happened with Dad getting ill, having surgery and then passing away unexpectedly two weeks later in the Regina hospital.  I cried and cried and cried to her…something I typically do only when alone.

I discussed all my doubts about what had happened…if we only had done this or that and all the what ifs.  We discussed each doubt in detail and that was such a good thing for me to do.  She did such a great job of helping to put me into a normal place after that meeting instead of swimming in all of my confusing thoughts.

Towards the end of our meeting she said ‘Starr, your Dad had a good death‘.  This was a concept I had never heard of before.  She went on to explain all the good things my Dad had during his time of passing…he was in no pain, it was not sudden, he was surrounded by his close family and even the grand puppies, he knew we loved him so much, he knew we were proud of him for living such a wonderful life, there was no regret or things left unsaid, we were all there to hold his hand to the very end.

When you think of it like that, it sort of gives you a different perspective and a bit of peace.  My heart still aches for the loss of my Dad at the young age of 63 and I miss him everyday so so much, but it helped me to consider this concept and realize he had a good death.

photo of dad holding my hand for the last time

(iphone photo of Dad and I holding hands for the last time)



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